Throwback Thursday: How Not to Hit on A Girl

I wrote this post several years ago, pre-James of course. This was definitely the worst way a guy ever tried to hit on me. Well, once I was crossing the street on Campus Corner in college and a guy hung his head out the window and yelled "Nice kneecaps!" It was hilarious but not effective. Way better than this Wormy Dog jerk story. Enjoy.

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Last night I went to the Wormy Dog in Oklahoma City with some friends from high-school. We were standing around, waiting for Reckless Kelly to take the stage when a guy walked over to me. He didn’t say a word, just slammed the bottom of his beer bottle on top of mine. Which, by the way, causes the beer to foam and pretty much explode out of the top. I had no idea how to respond. I pointed the beer at him so it wouldn’t get all over me. He put his thumb over the bottle to try to keep it from spewing and said “I didn’t realize you would be such a bad sport about it.” I just looked at him and asked why he thought it was a good idea to do that. He handed me another bottle and said it was his way of flirting. I took the beer, but refused to drink from it. It’s generally not a good idea to drink something that a random guy hands you, especially when he is a grade A creeper like this one. I walked away from him, and he followed me and said “Don’t be such a hag about it.” I just looked at him and said, “Excuse me? What did you just call me?” He was like, oh nothing. I was just trying to tell you that you are pretty.  I tried to explain to this guy that maybe acting like a third-grader isn’t the best way to get my attention. Maybe he should just say hi instead.  Throughout the evening he would pop up randomly and attempt to flirt – at least I think that’s what he was trying to do. When I asked him to leave me alone, he said fine, you’re not even that pretty. To which I responded, then why do you keep talking to me?

I don’t understand why guys think they need some complicated scheme to hit on a girl. If you think a girl is pretty or she catches your eye, just go say hi. Go introduce yourself and tell her that. Don’t hit her beer bottle, or rub your hand on her back and wrap your fingers in her hair like another guy did to me last night. Keep it simple. It will be much easier for both of you that way – and you might actually get the girl’s phone number instead of the brush off.